The 10 Essentials: Essential #3
The third Essential is learning to Communicate with Others. Whether you are in a team sport or an individual sport, having the ability to effectively communicate with those around you is critical. You need to know what you want to say and put it out in the world in a way that others understand exactly what you mean. This can be incredibly hard, which is why some of the biggest mistakes in sport come from miscommunication. Check out these two key components of communication and see where you need to spend more time developing your skills within this Essential.
Listening is the first step in effective communication.
Before you can even share your own thoughts, you have to be sure that you are doing the work to understand what is going on. Listening is different from hearing. You can hear what another person is saying, but listening takes it a step further into truly working to understand what the other person means. This is often known as active listening. With active listening, you use particular strategies to ensure your understanding of the other person BEFORE you communicate your own thoughts and feelings.
Active listening:
Look the other person in the eyes and use some type of nonverbal communication to show that you are listening (nod your head, say ok, lean forward, etc.)
Paraphrase or summarize what the other person said to be sure you got it right and to give them a chance to correct things if needed. You can start by saying “What I hear you saying is…” or “Let me see if I understood you correctly…”
If you are unsure about anything, ask! Using open-ended questions (questions that aren’t simply answered by “yes” or “no”) gives the other person room to clarify or elaborate on what they said.
Be aware of your verbal and nonverbal communication.
Communication isn’t just about the words you use; it’s also about HOW you say it. Be thoughtful in the words that you choose, particularly in stressful and fast-paced situations (like every single athletic competition!). Be sure that you are also paying attention to the tone that you use and your body language when you say those words. We take into consideration all of those aspects to help us understand the true meaning of what is being said. Effective communication means that you are intentional in choosing all aspects of your communication.
Need to work on this? Ask for feedback from trusted sources. Choose a day where you pay attention to one aspect of your communication (the words you choose, your tone of voice, your body language, etc.) and review your performance to determine if how you presented the information matched what you were trying to communicate. Think through common things you need to communicate and create a standard way of communicating them.