The 10 Essentials: Essential #5
The fifth Essential is learning to Manage Emotions. There is a specific reason as to why you need to MANAGE them instead of CONTROL them. Emotions are a good, healthy, and natural part of life. It’s what makes you human! The challenge comes when you experience an emotion that is too big and impacts your ability to perform in the way that you want.
The first step in managing emotions is to become aware of your emotions. You need to know what emotions are helpful to you and which ones have a tendency to drag you down. Some athletes play better when they are a bit angry or when they have a chip on their shoulder. For other athletes, any amount of anger derails their performance. Start by thinking about your best performance and list out what emotions you experienced. Then, think about a really awful performance and list out the emotions attached to that experience. This simple exercise will give you an idea of which emotions you want to increase and which ones you want to diminish.
The second step in managing your emotions is to develop some great skills to help you ride the wave of the emotion. Emotions have a tendency to come and go, but in the moment they can be incredibly intense. My top go-to strategy for riding that wave is: 54321. A simple countdown that gets you back to experiencing the current moment rather than getting lost in your thoughts. It goes like this:
Name 5 things you can see.
Name 4 things you can feel.
Name 3 things you can hear.
Name 2 things you can smell.
Name 1 thing you can taste.
If you are in a really fast-paced sport, you can shorten this down to 321 (Name 3 things you can see. Name 2 things you can feel. Name 1 thing you can hear.). This simple countdown interrupts the thinking process that often exacerbates the emotion. After the countdown, be intentional in choosing what you want to focus on and what behavior you want to exhibit. The more specific and controllable, the better!
The bottom line: You can FEEL one way and choose to ACT another. Feel frustrated or anxious or excited while choosing to engage in specific behaviors that you know puts you in the best position for success.