Letter to Parents of Athletes
Dear Parents of Athletes:
Thank you for supporting your athlete! You want the best for your child and you do all that you can to help them achieve their dreams. This often means sacrificing time and money to drive your athlete to various training sessions, spending most weekends at competitions, and navigating the politics of youth sports.
As a sport psychologist, I work with a ton of athletes, all of which are striving to reach their potential. These are my tips for their parents to support them mentally and emotionally.
Constantly remind them that they are MORE than an athlete. Tell them the other things about them that you love and enjoy. Acknowledge their successes off the field. This can be academically, within their community, the development of their character, or the friendships they have cultivated. Much of their time is consumed with being an athlete; help them balance that with all the other things that make up the awesome child you have.
On the way to training or competitions, help your athlete by creating a definition of success that’s based on things within their control (rather than on outcomes!). What would make that outing a success if you had no idea if your child won? What would your athlete have to do to put themselves in a great position for that success to happen?
On the way home from training or competitions, play an accomplishment game. Take turns naming an accomplishment from that training or competition (size is unimportant!) and see who can name the most. Ask about things different than just the outcomes. Check back in on that definition of success to see where they landed.
Know when you need to be the parent and when you need to be the coach. Nobody wants to get done with work just to rehash the entire day and analyze all of the errors and missteps that happened. Sometimes it helps to discuss a few things and give time to process the emotional response. Other times, it is best just to let your child know that your love is not given based on their stats or what place they finished.
In case you haven’t heard it lately, you are doing your best. You aren’t going to get this parenting thing right all the time (trust me, I know!). Most often, you end up going back and forth between being too far on the left and then too far on the right, as you try to find that perfect balancing spot in the middle. These four tips can serve as guides, giving you a little clarity in how to be the best parent to your athlete.
Want to learn more about what you can do to help your athlete? Ask us about our virtual parent workshops.